Ever Hopeful Read online
Page 9
Laura took a deep breath and steadied herself. “I knew Martha’s involvement would change if I had evidence I could take to the media. Reputation is everything to the Kensingtons. Keeping up appearances is more important than her son’s pride. With embarrassing proof, his mother would have kept him from coming after me.”
Laura paused for a minute and prepared herself for what she was about to do. She opened an Internet window and typed in an address. It felt eerie to do it. She’d actually never checked the email account since she opened it. She had set it up only to receive emails she sent to it. She hadn’t given the address to anyone since she’s used a computer at the local library to create the account a year ago.
As she talked, Laura selected the tab at the top of the screen to organize the emails by recipient, then scrolled to the section of emails she’d sent herself.
“I started saving little bits of money here and there. I’d wash and starch all of Patrick’s shirts in the basement when he was at work. I put them on hangers I’d saved from the dry cleaners and return them with his suits when I brought them home. I could save twelve dollars a week that way. I clipped coupons and bought small things he wouldn’t notice, then returned them for cash.”
Laura kept her eyes on the computer screen. She might be about to bare her soul to these people, but looking them in the eye was a bit more than she was ready for as she talked about the humiliation of saving a dollar here and a dollar there for her escape.
“I started an email account and took pictures on my phone, then deleted them as soon as I’d sent them to the account. By the time I found out I was pregnant, I had only saved three hundred dollars but I’d collected several months’ worth of pictures. With the baby, I didn’t have a choice. There wasn’t any more time. I knew I had to leave right away. A week before Patrick died, I sold all of the jewelry in our safety deposit box and bought a new identity. I planned to leave when he was on a business trip. This email account was my safety net if he tracked me down.”
Laura turned the computer toward Shane and stood up. The room was silent as she turned and walked out the back door. She couldn’t watch. She knew what they’d see, but she didn’t know what they’d think when they saw the pictures.
Would they wonder how she could have been such a fool to have trusted this man? Or that she was weak for not leaving right away? Or pitiful because she hadn’t stood up for herself?
***
Cade wasn’t sure he was ready to see what Laura had just shared with them, but he almost laughed when he saw the email address she’d set up. [email protected].
Shane clicked on the first email, and any laughter dried up in Cade’s throat. Shane clicked through email after email, picture after picture of black and purple bruises. The lawyer in him was meticulous. He carefully saved each photo in a file as he went.
Bruises littered every part of Laura’s body. The imprint of hands clear as day on her skin where her husband had pinned her down, choked her. The evidence of punches hard enough to blacken large swatches of her tiny body. Black eyes and a split lip. A burn from...what? Maybe a hot pot or pan? Something large enough to blister off a six or eight-inch area of skin on her back.
Cade felt sick. No one uttered a sound as he stood and followed Laura out the back door. She sat on the log bench he had carved out of a fallen tree for May. The bench set in a patch of wildflowers that grew ten yards from the back door; his mother’s version of a flower garden. Cade made sure she could hear him coming up behind her, but she didn’t move. Just stared out at the field of Bluebonnets and yellow and pink Texas Paintbrush in front of her.
Cade sat next to Laura and threaded his fingers through hers. Her hand was so tiny in his. The thought of her so small and defenseless and all alone facing that monster she’d married tore at his heart like nothing ever had. He’d seen Patrick Kensington on television; everyone had. He wasn’t the largest man in the world, but he dwarfed Laura.
How had he ever thought she was weak? That she might be like Lacey? Laura was without a doubt the bravest woman he’d ever met. Her strength humbled him.
“I’m so proud of you, Laura,” Cade said. He shook his head. “If he had caught you collecting that evidence—God, Laura—I can’t even imagine what he would have done to you. You were so brave to get yourself away from there.”
Laura huffed out a laugh, the sarcasm of it clear. “But I didn’t. Not really. I sometimes wonder if I really would have had the guts to leave if he hadn’t died. You know, it’s horrible to say, but when the police were standing on my doorstep telling me Patrick had died….” Laura swiped at tears on her face. “I just felt relieved. All I could think was that I’d finally be free. My baby would be safe. I shouldn’t have felt that when I heard that my baby would grow up without a father, but I did. I couldn’t.... I can’t feel anything more than relief that he’s dead, and I hate that. I’m ashamed of that.”
Cade squeezed her hand. “You don’t ever have to feel ashamed of anything he made you do or feel. Of anything he did to you. Never feel ashamed of any of that, Laura. The man was a monster. But you, you’re an amazing woman to have survived that.”
Chapter Seventeen
Morning chores finished, Laura and Cade walked up the path toward the main house just in time to see a car driving up the long dirt drive. She tensed as the car drew closer, but Cade spoke quietly before she could decide which direction she should run.
“Go on up to the house, Laura. I’ll see who it is.”
Cade may have meant to set her at ease, but his instruction made her more anxious. It meant he didn’t recognize the car. She had the sense the Bishops knew everyone around here, so a car Cade didn’t recognize had a ball of knots twisting in her stomach.
May met Laura at the door and looked past her at the billowing dust surrounding the brown sedan that made its way up the drive.
“Cade doesn’t recognize the car,” Laura said.
“I don’t either,” May said shaking her head as she stepped aside to let Laura in. “But, that doesn’t mean it’s trouble. Could be one of our friends bought a new car.”
Laura didn’t believe May any more than May most likely believed it herself, but she smiled and went along with it.
“You’re right. It’s probably nothing. Can I help you get lunch on the table?” she asked as they walked toward the back of the house to the kitchen. It took everything Laura had not to peel back the curtains and stare out the window as Cade greeted the stranger. But, if it was trouble, there was no better place for Laura to be than in the kitchen. She could slip out the back door and into the root cellar if Cade signaled that she needed to.
No sooner had she had the thought than Cade gave the all clear. “Laura, Mama, guess who’s here?” he called out as they heard footsteps coming through the front door. “Josh is here to visit with no set return date in sight.” Cade came through the kitchen door with a grin, and Dr. Joshua Samuels following along behind him.
Laura’s heart flipped over and relief flooded through her, leaving her weak. She hadn’t realized how frightened she was until she knew she was safe.
“Joshua!” May’s smile lit her whole face. Laura had a pang of longing when she looked at the two as they hugged. She didn’t know what caused the feeling, really; as far as she knew, May and Josh were nothing more than old friends. But, there was an ease to the way they fell into one another’s arms. Laura knew she’d never had that in her life and, suddenly, she acutely felt it was missing.
She wanted that someday. More than she’d ever wanted anything.
Laura forced her eyes to pass over Cade as that last thought passed through her head. She wiped her hands down the front of her skirt, and willed them to stop shaking.
Josh crossed to Laura and took her hands in his. “You made it.” His smile was genuine, though his face was filled with concern. Emotion flooded Laura but she swallowed it down. She knew she should probably embrace the feeling of being surrounded by people who cared
, people who wanted her to be happy and safe. But, a minute ago, when Laura thought the Kensingtons had found her, she thought she might have to run, to leave the ranch. That was the worst thing she’d felt in a long time.
She’d let herself fall into this fairytale wonderland over the last few weeks, but she knew she didn’t want the happiness and peace the ranch offered if that meant later she might lose it. She didn’t want to have to wonder if at any moment someone could come to take away any happiness she found there.
May’s arm came around Laura’s shoulders. “She made it, and it’s been wonderful having her here.”
Panic set it. She’d let contentment and pleasure into her life, yet she knew it was too good to be true—she’d lose it sometime. The way things were now, she couldn’t ever trust that the life she’d built here couldn’t be taken away in an instant.
Laura steeled herself. “It’s been wonderful being here. Even if it is only for a short time. I’ll be moving on soon, though. I need to move to a bit bigger city to find a job, a place to live,” she said, ducking her head.
She stepped out of May’s embrace and crossed to carry a dish of potato salad and a plate of sandwiches to the table. Laura ignored the surprised looks crossing the faces of the others in the room and set out a pitcher of sweet tea to go with the large spread May had made for lunch. May always set out an enormous amount of food no matter how few people were expected, so having Josh at the table wouldn’t be a burden at all.
Laura could feel the tension in the room as she buzzed around, finding ways to busy her hands until the moment passed. Except it didn’t pass. She heard Cade murmur something to May and Josh and was surprised when they left the room. She thought May would be the one to try to talk with her about staying longer, not Cade.
For the first time since she’d met him, Laura flinched when Cade spoke, even though she’d known it was coming.
His tone low, he spoke calmly, with the supportive look in his eyes she’d come to crave. “What’s going on, Laura? Why are you talking about leaving again?”
Laura turned and faced him and let loose all the fear that welled up inside her, that ate at her, that brought self-doubt when she wanted to be strong, made her prepare to run when she wanted with all her heart to be able to stay.
“What am I doing? You want to know what I’m doing? I’m not getting my hopes up, that’s what I’m doing, Cade. I’m being realistic instead of living in some fantasy where I get to stay on a ranch where I feel safe, with people who care about me. With plenty of food and no one that wants to hit me.” Laura’s fists balled at her sides, her nails digging into flesh as she struggled to contain her emotions. “Where I don’t have to worry about money or how to take care of my baby. Where I have love and support and....”
She shook her head as her eyes and nose burned with the tears that were going to come no matter how hard she tried to fend them off. “I can’t do it, Cade. I won’t hope for this. I won’t let myself think I can have this, because it’s going to hurt like hell when I lose it.” Laura wrapped her arms around herself and ignored the tears she knew fell on her cheeks.
Cade just watched and waited though she was in the middle of a meltdown, in the middle of making a fool of herself. She hated losing it in front of him. Laura swiped angrily at the tears and turned toward the counter.
There must be some other chore she could do, something to focus on other than the man in front of her who had never had to wonder when the earth would fall out from under his feet.
Cade wouldn’t let her turn away though. He slowly reached a hand out and touched her with just one finger under her chin, gently pulling her eyes back to his.
“You don’t have to leave, Laura. Ever. I promise you. You’ll never have to leave here.”
***
Cade wanted to reach out and hold Laura, to pull her in tight and wrap her up and protect her from all of her fears, from all of her memories, and all the things that chased her and wouldn’t let her go. He wanted more than that. He wanted to kiss away those fears, to make love to her and make her forget—to erase all the hurt and pain she’d suffered.
But he knew, watching her now, she wasn’t ready for any of that. She’d run like hell if he tried that. Even now, he saw a flash of anger in her eyes. The tears were gone.
“You’re not the one who’d lose if that isn’t true, Cade. What happens when they find me here and they try to take my baby? What if they win? Do you think a court isn’t going to at least consider whether the baby wouldn’t be better off with the Kensingtons instead of me? Patrick’s family can give this baby everything. What do I have to offer? I don’t even have a home of my own or a steady job. What will I do when the court says Martha Kensington will be a better mother to this baby than I will?”
Cade watched Laura try to collect herself, but it didn’t seem to work. “You’ve had the comfort of knowing your whole life that you were loved and supported, and that you’ll have that love and support no matter what. Well, I’ve never had that, and I’m not going to reach for that now. I don’t want that. I can’t want that,” she said, raising her voice.
Cade didn’t have time to answer. Laura walked out the back door and strode through the tall grass that led to Mama’s wildflower garden.
Damn. Cade should have seen that coming. He should have been able to see that she’d been walking around pretending everything was okay, but she had never really let down her guard. She never really let herself be completely comfortable. She shouldn’t have had to tell him that—he should have seen that himself.
Cade put his hand on the knob to follow her, but Josh’s voice came from behind him.
“Let her be for now, Cade. She needs to figure out on her own that all of this isn’t going away. And besides, she may be more right than you want to think,” Josh said, looking back at May.
“What is that supposed to mean? Nobody’s making her leave.” Cade said, turning on Josh with a lot more intensity than he intended.
“You may not make her leave, but that doesn’t mean she won’t have to run again. The Kensingtons are pushing hard to find her and the baby. They’ve had private detectives asking around at the hospital several times. I’ve been questioned three times by the PIs and once by the cops. The police took the security tapes from the day Laura left to try to see who she left with. I knew they might so I picked her up around the corner. All they saw was Laura walking away voluntarily and safely from the hospital, so the police aren’t too keyed up about her disappearance…but the Kensingtons are. They’re doing all they can to paint her as a mentally unstable woman who shouldn’t be left to her own defenses. I think they have very little use for Laura. Once they have that baby, I have a feeling they’ll do all they can to get Laura out of the picture. Either fight for custody or to have her committed to a mental institution—if they continue to push this mental-health angle. They’re painting a really nasty picture for anyone who’s willing to listen,” Josh said.
“Do you think they suspect you were involved, Josh?” May asked.
Josh shook his head. “I don’t think they did, but now that I’ve left they might. The staff will all tell them I take large chunks of time off each summer and it’s not unusual for me to go away when I do, so they’ll hopefully just chalk this up to a normal trip, or to me getting ready to retire. I was careful not to use any of my credit cards getting out here, and I actually took a few side trips along the way so they shouldn’t be able to track me here.”
“All right, sit and eat. You must be hungry by now. Laura will come back when she’s ready,” May said and moved to sit down at the table.
Cade looked at the table, but suddenly wasn’t very hungry. He’d all but forgotten that Laura was on the run in the last week, and the brutal reminder didn’t help his appetite.
“I’m not hungry, Mama. I’ve got some work to do out in the barn. I’ll see you guys for dinner later,” he said and left before his mother or Joshua could reply.
Chapter
Eighteen
Alec looked over at the doorway to Patrick’s office as Justin entered. “Hey, I didn’t expect you here. Something you need?” Alec asked, not letting his annoyance show.
The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Justin Kensington. There’d been no sign of Laura Kensington so far, and his search of all of the places he thought Patrick would have hidden the evidence he claimed he had, was turning up nothing.
Justin looked at him a bit strangely. “Yeah, I just thought I’d come clean out Patrick’s office. Get his personal things, you know. I’m trying to take care of as many details as I can before I leave,” said Justin.
Alec had Patrick’s files stacked haphazardly on the desk. He looked down at them and back to the empty filing cabinet he’d been searching. “Yeah, I’m just getting these files out of here so my secretary can go through them and see what needs to be done with them. I’ll get these out of your way so you can collect his personal things.”
Alec began gathering the files. “Unless you’d rather I have my secretary collect his things and have them delivered to your mom. You don’t need to go through all of this now, Justin. We can take care of it.”
Alec kept collecting files, striving for impassive indifference on his face as if he couldn’t care less if Justin took Patrick’s personal effects today or left them to be delivered later. But he’d be damned if he’d let Justin walk out of here with anything. Not until he was sure there wasn’t anything here that could incriminate him.
Before Justin could answer, Alec’s day got a whole lot worse. His secretary announced Mark and Paul’s arrival. He’d been expecting them for an update on the case and with Justin here, there was no way he could avoid letting Justin sit in on the update that involved Justin’s brother’s wife. If the private detectives were smart enough, they’d report that they’d found nothing and then give him an actual update later, but he doubted they’d pick up on that, or that they were smart enough.